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Monthly Archives: April 2016

Raising Interested People Part 6 – GODZILLA!! Or Controlling the Playlist

26 Tuesday Apr 2016

Posted by Michael Morgan in Parenting for Dads, Personal Stories

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“Only Interested People Are Interesting” ~ Jeff Cooper

Blue Oyster Cult in Dallas TX 2016

Blue Oyster Cult in Dallas TX 2016

One of the great points of conflict that has occurred in every American household since the invention of recorded music has been the tug of war over the media player of the time conducted by the parent and the teenager. Sometimes this infighting filters down among the children, just adding to the parent’s frustration.

I lucked into the solution one afternoon in the car when my 7-year-old kept insisting that she wanted to listen to a Disney CD instead of my fine selection of classic Rock & Roll.  There we went back and forth. Louder and louder, and then it hit me.

“How would you like to hear a song about a DRAGON?” I asked.

“What dragon? You don’t have any songs about dragons,” was the challenge.

At that moment I knew I had won.

“I have to tell you about the dragon so you understand the song, OK?”

“Uh-huh.”

“This is a world famous dragon, and his name is Godzilla…”

So after a very brief description of His Awesomeness that is Godzilla, I cranked up the rock anthem by Blue Oyster Cult that celebrates the King of All Monsters.

After we listened to Godzilla a couple of times, the person in the booster seat asked, “What other songs do you have?” Game. Set. Match!

My house has never suffered from the dreaded Disney pop-tarts. Boy bands have never sounded a note. Hip-hop in all of its forms is anathema. Not because I say so. Because my daughter says so.

When the Mrs. was having trouble getting the daughter interested in classical music, I arranged for Santa Clause to deliver a few DVDs containing Bugs Bunny. Nothing like a good cartoon with a classical background score to hold a child’s interest. Now when we go to the symphony we see who can guess the toon first. The daughter plays violin in the orchestra now.

To date my now 14-year-old has been to multiple performances of the opera, musical theatre, symphony, and recently Alice Cooper, and Blue Oyster Cult.

By helping my kid discover the music I love, I managed to avoid the music I despise. You just have to tie your faves to something the kid is already interested in, and with a little encouragement the rest will take care of itself.

Happy Head Banger

Happy Head Banger!

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The Lost Traveler – Edinburgh, Scotland

21 Thursday Apr 2016

Posted by Michael Morgan in Personal Stories

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Tags

Edinburgh, scotland, Travel

Some folks have enough interest in their family history to travel back to the “Old Country” to see what the ancestors left behind. The Morgan family made such a pilgrimage over my strong personal reservations regarding crowds, holidays, and safety, but the logic was we should go before Europe finally surrenders to the Caliphate.

Our main stop was #Edinburgh, #Scotland, and in spite of my concerns, we had a great time. The following are some bits of advice and impressions that might be helpful to others considering a visit to that region.

Weather: Plan for highly changeable weather. Our visit in late December was unusually warm and dry with temps running from high 30s to mid-40s. Rain was a more or less constant threat, and when it decided to rain on us it tended to heavy drizzle rather than pounding storms. Dress in layers and keep a poncho handy. Umbrellas are worthless in the wind.

Edinburgh

  • Get a hotel close to Old Town.
    • Edinburgh is not that big, and the weather makes walking pleasant even if it really seems like every street is “uphill both ways”.
    • Navigation Tips
      • A “close” is a narrow alley between buildings, and they connect streets, so you don’t have to go around the block. Some pubs and shops open off of the close, so pay attention. If you can’t find the place a map says is “right here”, it might be located on a nearby close.
      • A “stair” serves the same purpose as a close, but it is a set of steps.
      • A “wynd” (pronounced like what you do to a watch) is another walkway that joins thoroughfares.
      • A “crescent” is a cul-de-sac.
      • “Arcades” are like the others listed above, but they have shops along them.
      • Sometimes you have to walk through a close to get to a courtyard “inside” the building that faces the street in order to get to the business you are looking for. The Writer’s Museum (http://www.edinburghmuseums.org.uk/venues/the-writers–museum ) is just such a case.
      • Street signs are posted on the sides of buildings above the first story level instead of a pole on the corner like in the US.
    • Hotel
      • We stayed at The Carlton on High Bridge Street (https://www.thehotelcollection.co.uk/hotels/carlton-hotel-edinburgh ).
    • The façade of the building has been styled to fit into the castellated architecture of the district, but the hotel has been recently renovated.
    • The staff is great.
    • You get a real breakfast with your room, so take full advantage. The hot “English Breakfast” consists of Eggs (sunny side or scrambled), sausage links, bacon (aka ham), black pudding (blood sausage), and potato scones (potato pancakes). Baked beans, fried tomatoes, and haggis round out the options. Try the black pudding. I didn’t find it to have much flavor, but it is definitely not as unpleasant as the name implies.
    • The Carlton is located about a 10-15 minute walk from just about every tourist attraction in town except the zoo.

 

Things to do

  • Edinburgh Castle

    Edinburgh Castle

    Edinburgh Castle is a must-see. You have to pay to get in. Make sure to tag along with one of the tour guides. There is a local ale called Edinburgh Castle that is worth tasting.

  • The National Museum of Scotland has two sections. The “new” section is dedicated to Scottish history from the Stone Age to the present. The “old” section is more of a natural history exhibit. You can see if Dolly the Sheep is on display. The museum is free.
  • National Gallery is also free if you are into art.
  • City Bus Tours – One street over from South Bridge at Waverly Station is a bus stop for tour buses. These buses are driving tours of the city. You plug in your headset and listen to a recorded tour as the bus drives around. Your ticket is good for 24 hours, and you can get on and off the bus as much as you like in that time. This is a great way to get oriented and to pick out places to visit. The bus ticket has discount coupons for various attractions, so keep it handy.
  • The Edinburgh Dungeon is a haunted house style tour of some of Edinburgh’s more unsavory past. Under 16 requires a parent to get in. Good fun. Discount coupons are available to look for them.
  • Pubs & Dining
    • An important note about pubs. If the place has a liquor license, everyone under 16 years old must be out before 8:00pm, so plan your dining accordingly.
    • The reason pubs have a reputation for a friendly atmosphere is because they are rather small and cramped. You will be close enough to chat with the folks at the next table, so don’t be shocked if they join your conversation.
    • In general tipping is not done in the UK, but we went into one place where the credit card machine offered us the choice to add a percentage for a tip. The waitress explained their restaurant we based on a Canadian/US model, so tips are part of the compensation. This may be a changing trend.
    • Credit cards are processed at the table in front of you, so when the server presents the check just tell them you want to pay with a card, so they bring the machine.
    • Every pub will have a Scotch whisky list that will make your head spin. I learned that drinking scotch with a splash of water opens the bouquet of the whisky and allows you to enjoy a variety of flavors that are covered when you sip it neat as I usually do. Don’t waste time with soda, just get some plain water and try adding just a splash to your shot.
    • We ate our first supper in a place called “Arcade” on Cockburn Street. The food at Arcade was very tasty, especially their Robert Burns haggis plate.
    • “End of the World” is a pub at what used to be the wall surrounding Old Town. Another nice friendly place I would be happy to return to. Great fish & chips.
    • We had Christmas Dinner at “Rabbie Burns Café and Whisky Bar”. Not very posh looking from the street, but really tasty pork pie with brown gravy and grilled veggies.
    • The “MacGregor” pub was a must considering that is our Clan. They serve great Admiral’s Pie and Steak & Ale pie.
    • AVOID “Mother India”. The spice level must be reduced to avoid scaring the locals, and the portions were too small for the money. We were very disappointed.
    • AVOID “Patisserie Valerie” on High Bridge as if your life depended on it. The pastry is awful, the sandwiches were stale, and the staff were quite put out by having to make a sale. I’m used to this kind of crap in America, but we didn’t encounter anyone else in Scotland who treated us as bad as this place. Every other person we dealt with made it apparent that they were quite happy to have our business.
  • Arthur’s Seat is one of the volcanic cones that Edinburgh is built on. It is surrounded by a large public park with hiking trails leading to the summit. The path we chose was great until we got to a stone stair that looked straight out of the Morgul Vale in Lord of the Rings. Remember the stairs Sam, Frodo, and Gollum climb to reach the giant spider? Yeah, like that. Wear good shoes with ankle support and you will be fine. The view is worth every step.
  • Shopping is a lot of fun for a day or two. After that every shop starts to look the same. Occasionally you can find some good bargains, so take the time to look around. Sometimes the same company owns multiple shops on different streets, so if the one you are in does not have your size, color, & etc., ask if they have another location and have them to call to check availability.
    • TAX REBATE – Tourists can get their sales tax rebated if you file the correct paperwork at the airport. Make sure to ask for a tax reimbursement receipt when you buy tangible goods (not food). Several locations around town will process the refunds immediately, but they take a commission on each receipt they process. If you file through the airport kiosk, you get the full amount back on your credit card. Not a huge amount back, but every nickel counts. The minimum purchase amount when we were there was 35 pounds. This could be on a single receipt or on multiple as long as the total was over 35 pounds.
    • MONEY – Scots Pounds are issued and accepted in Scotland along with English Pounds. The reverse is NOT true. If you plan to travel in the UK outside of Scotland, make sure you trade your Scots Pounds for English before you leave Scotland.
  • Day Trips – We took two day-trips by bus to see Hadrian’s Wall and Loch Ness.
    • Hadrian’s Wall with Rabbie’s (https://rabbies.com ) – Rabbie’s tours depart from a café just off South Bridge and Prince’s street about 5 minutes from The Carlton Hotel. We booked the trip online, and everything went very smoothly. Our guide, Joe, provided a running commentary on the areas we drove through on the way to the wall. The trip consisted of several stops including one on the border between Scotland and England. We also stopped at a Roman fortress called Vindolanda (http://www.vindolanda.com ). A very pleasant day trip and well worth the price.
    • Loch Ness with Gray Line Tours (http://www.grayline.com ) – Gray Line offers hotel pick up service that I’m not sure was worth the trouble. Our guide, Graham, had a great sense of humor and was very entertaining as we drove through the highlands. The boat ride on Loch Ness cost extra, and we enjoyed ourselves.
    • If I had to make a choice, I would say I preferred Rabbie’s as a tour company because the online registration was more convenient than Gray Lines, but that is the only reason. Many companies offer these tours, so shop around.
    • One trip we were not able to take was #Alnwick Castle (http://www.alnwickcastle.com ) that was used as the model for #Hogwarts in the Harry Potter films. The castle is closed between October and March, so if you plan a winter trip to Scotland, you can’t see that castle.

Culture

  • When we entered any business we were greeted with a very enthusiastic MERRY CHRISTMAS! No Happy Holiday or Season’s Greetings garbage to pollute the holiday spirit. This applied regardless of the ethnic origin or obvious non-Christian religious leaning of the person greeting us. It was “Merry Christmas”, and be damned to you if you don’t like it. I have never more disgusted by American’s PC poison as I was on this trip.

With the exception of the jerks in “Patisserie Valerie” everyone we met were very friendly including the folks we talked to in pubs.

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Teaching Kids to Fight Fair

11 Monday Apr 2016

Posted by Michael Morgan in Parenting for Dads

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Every relationship has conflict occasionally. Whether the trigger is intentional or accidental, feelings are hurt and the battle is on. Accusations are made, voices are raised, blame and counter-blame are thrown, and when things get really out of hand things can get physical.

Let’s get one thing straight from the start. Physical altercations within a relationship are at a minimum abuse and often criminal behavior. Nobody deserves to be hit, pushed, or to have another’s hands laid on them in anger for any reason. If this is happening to you, leave the location and get help. Call 911, go to a fire station, family shelter, or hospital, talk to your priest/pastor. The point is tell someone, and get help.

If you are being battered, it is NOT YOUR FAULT, and you DO NOT deserve it!

Recognizing that conflict in inevitable, one of the most important life skills we can teach our kids is how to “fight fair”. This is a skill they can learn to employ as children that will serve them well later in life, and make them more effective professionally and personally. By coaching our children in this critical skill it reinforces these same principles in ourselves, and this makes life easier for everyone.

So how does this work?

It starts with admitting “I get angry”, and allowing myself to be angry. That sounds silly, but it is important to acknowledge your emotions, and to encourage your child to do the same because it helps to separate the emotion from the range of possible responses. When children are little they lack the ability to separate emotion from reaction. A pinched finger causes a burst of tears, sudden anger leads to hitting or throwing as a means to lash out at the object of the anger.

With toddlers, we tell them not to hit or throw things at people, but as they mature we never seem to get to the next step, teaching them effective communication.

A child of four is coming to a point where they can learn to say “I’m mad at you!” instead of lashing out physically, so start the communication when you see the child acting out by asking, “Are you mad about something?” If the child says yes, then ask questions:

  • “Who are you mad at?”
  • “What made you mad?”

Then sit back and listen to the answers.

Parent: “What are you mad about?”

Child: “You always yell at me when I spill juice on the floor.”

Listen for “absolute” words like “always” and “never”.

The first rule of fighting fair is to stop using absolute words. Nobody “always” does something. It is not possible, so focus on concrete things that can be proved and agreed upon by all involved parties.

In this specific instance person A did B that made me feel C.

“You spilled juice on the floor, and that made me feel angry.”

By changing our focus to the act and acknowledging your feelings that resulted from the act, we have given the conversation a focal point that can be discussed in a calm and intelligent manner. This is important because the act, whether accidental or intentional, is not as important as how it makes you feel.

Let’s take a moment to consider how the recipient of the statement would perceive, ”You spilled juice on the floor, and that made me feel angry.” The first word is a shot to the chin. By saying “you” it puts the listener on the spot and makes them feel attacked, so their natural response is to become defensive. What they heard is “You make me angry.” More or less accurate, but a person that feels attacked only wants to lash out at the attacker, so the game of dragging out past incidents to use as weapons to hit the other person begins, and the game gets louder and louder because nobody is feeling like they are being heard. A child can’t play at this level, so you get a tantrum instead.

None of this really helps solve the base problem of juice on the floor, so let’s change the statement again. “When juice is spilled on the floor, I feel angry.”

Now we have stated the issue correctly, and we have removed the accusation from the situation because I have avoided pointing the finger at the child. This defuses the sense of being yelled at, and avoids invoking an automatic defensive response.

Think about how it makes you feel if the boss comes by and in a harsh voice says, “You were supposed to have those reports to me by the end of business yesterday, and I still don’t have them. What’s wrong with you?!”

Feel a little defensive and upset?

Feel a bit put out?

Feel like the boss really cares about the cause of the delay?

Feel like he’s going to hear anything you have to say?

Young children are not very skilled at logical thinking. They are very close to their emotions, so an assault like the one above would most likely result in tears and possibly a tantrum, but the child will definitely feel like they are being yelled at even if your voice was never raised above a normal conversational tone.

How would you feel if the boss had said, “I was expecting those reports by end of business, yesterday. This is very urgent. Is there something I can do to help get them ready?”

I bet your reaction and resulting attitude would be completely different. Same goes for your child. This approach clearly states the issue, and more importantly, it shows you are open to communication. Let’s go back to the spilled juice.

“How did the juice get on the floor?”

“I spilled it.”

“It hurts my feelings when that happens. It needs to be cleaned up because someone could fall and get hurt. Please be more careful. Now help me clean it up.”

What is the likely result of this conversation?

We have clearly stated the problem of juice on the floor.

The child has taken ownership for creating the problem.

You have clearly expressed your feelings and expectations without making the child feel like they are being attacked.

You have engaged the child in resolving the issue. This is important because even if you give the child the towel and have them wipe up the mess, they do not feel rejected because they made a mistake.

Everyone gets what they want.

Will there be more spilled juice? Almost certainly, but its juice. How much energy are you really willing to put into a big fight over a 5 second clean up job? Is it really worth it? Does it make you feel better about yourself?

Go love on your kids by teaching them to fight fair. To acknowledge their feelings, to express them clearly, and to work with the other person to address the issue in a calm loving way.

Additional Reading

Fight Fair: Winning at Conflict without Losing at Love

Note:

Some folks will read this and question my qualifications as a therapist. I have no training as a psychotherapist or family counselor, and I don’t play one on TV.

By profession I am a Software Project Manager with a lot of experience handling people who communicate in many different styles. On one side I have the people who need the software to perform their work. On the other I have the technical staff who need to build the software. Two groups of people, worlds apart in their perceptions of the world.

When these worlds collide, things can start to sound like a riot at the Pre-K because even though both sides are talking, nobody feels like they are being heard. Feelings get hurt, and a meeting dissolves into a screaming match between otherwise normal professionals. Sound familiar?

My solution is a simple question, “Please help me understand…” I use this to get people focused on the issue by asking for their help. They need to help me, and they feel like they are being listened to, so they re-engage in the process. A simple question that strips away the energy that had been going to emotional displays. The name-calling stops, and work happens.

Peter Falk used to play a detective character named “Columbo” on TV. He used the same gimmick to trick the bad guys into confessing. Give it a try sometime.

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Percussion Revolvers & The Box O’ Truth

03 Sunday Apr 2016

Posted by Michael Morgan in Guns

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One of the more common questions I receive before and after the publication of The Handbook of Modern Percussion Revolvers is about how these old smokers stack up against modern handguns. Lyman’s Black Powder Handbook has been my go-to reference for muzzle velocity and energy information followed closely by the Gun Digest Black Powder Loading Manual by Sam Fadala. Velocity and muzzle energy are all good fun, but these do not answer the fundamental question of how does a bullet from a percussion revolver will behave when it is applied in a defensive capacity.

“For its size and weight nothing is so deadly as the round ball of pure lead when driven at fairly good velocity. Maximum loads give these slugs fairly high velocity from a 7 ½ inch barrel gun. Both Major R. E. Stratton and Samuel H. Fletcher told me the .36 Navy with full loads was a far better man killer than any .38 Special they had ever seen used in gun fights.” ~ Elmer Keith in his book “Sixguns” pp. 211.

 Major R.E. Stratton served in the 1st Texas Regiment, C.S.A. under Gen. Robert E. Lee in Virginia. He later served the Texas Rangers for 9 years.

 Samuel H. Fletcher served in the 2nd Illinois Cavalry, U.S.A.

 From “Sixguns” by Elmer Keith, pp. 14-15.

 

To begin with we have to understand the difference between a spherical projectile and a cylindrical or “conical” projectile like the ones fired from modern guns. In the pre-20th Century literature the term “bullet” was used interchangeably with the word “ball” hence the modern term “round ball” is used to refer to a spherical projectile intended for use in a muzzle loader.

 

As firearms evolved over the centuries almost every reasonable shape under the sun was tested. Eventually people realized that the projectile that could be loaded most consistently delivered the most consistent accuracy at the target. One of the challenges of loading a conical bullet into a muzzle loader was getting the long axis of the bullet aligned with the long axis of the weapon’s bore. If things didn’t line up, the bullet would not fly true.

Ned Roberts talks about “picket bullets” in his book “The Muzzle-Loading Cap Lock Rifle.” The illustrations in the book make these bullets resemble sharply pointed gumdrop candies more that modern bullets. The wide base was the only bearing surface in contact with the barrel. In addition, these bullets were loaded using a linen patch to center them in the bore of the weapon. Imagine trying to poke a Hershy’s Kiss down a gun barrel using a ramrod, and you can see how the bullet’s nose could get tilted off center.

The alternative was to hammer a groove diameter cylindrical bullet down the barrel. Of course this deformed the bullet’s nose and was no guarantee the bullet was loaded concentrically since hammers tend to be inconsistent tools. Even the fearsome Minie (pronounce min-Nay, not mini) Ball made famous by the War of Southern Independence (1861-) was never “properly” loaded because it was a full caliber smaller than the bore of the rifle that fired it. Having a smaller diameter bullet allowed the gun to be loaded after powder fouling from prior shots reduced the interior diameter of the weapon’s bore.

This kept the soldier in the fight longer, but when the bullet is not centered along the bore, it will not deliver its full potential accuracy.

Sharpshooters (aka snipers) of that conflict would wrap thin strips of paper around the body of the bullet to make it lie as close to centered in the bore as possible. This method was called a “paper patch”, and remained in use until the development of copper jacketed (aka “metal patch”) bullets around the turn of the 20th Century.

The bullet that was most economical in terms of lead, and easiest to load consistently was the spherical round ball whether loaded with a patch or without. Noted authorities like Elmer Keith documented the superior accuracy of the round ball over the conical bullet when fired from a percussion revolver. Keith attributed the improved accuracy to the inability to load the conical bullets concentrically aligned to the pistol’s bore.

Now that we hall of that out of the way, we can return to our question of how effective these guns were in real life. For that we turn to some great guys over at The Box O’ Truth, and an experiment they conducted using two single shot black powder pistols.

http://www.theboxotruth.com/educational-zone-66-shooting-a-black-powder-pistol/

 

The pistols use are both .45 caliber which gives us a good comparison to the 1860 Colt’s Army and the Ruger Old Army pistols. For the most reasonable comparison, let’s focus on the longer barreled Kentucky pistol featured in the experiment.

For comparison purposes:

My Pietta replica of Colt’s 1860 Army tops out at about 35gr of Pyrodex P with a felt wad under the 128gr roundball.

My Ruger Old Army will hold 40gr of Pyrodex P under the same wad and ball.

The FBI standard for adequate penetration of a handgun round in ballistic gelatin is 12 inches.

Based on the results from The Box O’ Truth, the 1860 clone with 35 grains of powder barely meet the FBI standard for penetration, and the Ruger Old Army with 40 grains of powder should be no worse than a .38 Special. The percussion revolvers meet the minimum FBI criteria, and do not show any tendency to over penetrate a human body. This means 100% of the bullet’s energy is delivered to the target which is the stated goal of modern defense ammunition.

Would I trade a snubnose .38/.357 Mag or 9mm compact for a percussion revolver for personal defense?

It would not be my first choice.

Would a percussion revolver do the job of protecting my life?

I firmly believe it could, and an awful lot of dead men would testify to that idea.

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