Every year we try to celebrate the daughter’s birthday in one of DFW’s best restaurants. This year, we tried Saint Emilion at the recommendation of a friend. It was a good call. Service was excellent. Atmosphere was “Provencial” as advertised. Think small country eatery with tables close together. It reminded me of some intimate pubs we visited in Scotland. You could keep your conversation to yourselves, or meet the folks next to you.
The soup of the day was Mushroom or Onion (of course). Both were approved by the party members. The onion soup was thick enough to be close to a stew. Probably the best I have had. The ladies enjoyed the mushroom offering with a generous quantity of sliced champions. We tried the Pate’ and found it a bit bland for our taste. Lamb chops and filets were the main course. The pommes frites (aka French fries) were not a real compliment to the steak, but the portion was adequate. The salad was a mixed greens in vinaigrette served with Monchego and double-cream Brie. Pretty good. Desserts were the Baba-Rhum cake, Creme Broulle, and Tiramisu. Tasty enough.
A party of three with two cocktails, upcharges for two filets, one appetizer, and three desserts came to $266.30 before tip. Saint Emilion was a far superior experience to that armpit called “The Mansion” in Upchuck Dallas, or Wolfgang Puck’s old haunt at the top of Reunion Tower.
Give Saint Emilion a try. Especially if your only experience with French food is La Madeleine.
A trip to Spain was not at the top of anyone’s list, BUT it was the one destination we could fly direct, so Spain it was.
Note: If you can avoid a layover in any Blue Zone, or the UK, avoid it. Example: Chicago makes international travelers leave the secure domestic section of the airport and go through TSA again to get into the International terminal. If you don’t have 3-4 hours to waste on this farcical theater, avoid left-coast airports. We touched down in Madrid, Spain for a nine-day tour. Border control was no issue. I guess the EU might be good for some…uh, nevermind. The taxi driver refused the name of the hotel and asked for the street address, so make sure you have that handy. As of this writing, taxis <https://www.esmadrid.com/en/madrid-taxi > have a €30 flat rate from the airport, and we checked into Hotel Mayorazgo.
The room for three was cramped. The “double bed” was actually two twins pushed together, but made up separately. The Amazon had to sleep on the lower tier of a fold-away bunk bed. For €300 a night I expected better, but the place was clean and breakfast was included. Best of all the sheets were not “microfiber” (aka shredded plastic) like in the States, so sleeping was not disrupted by that Saran Wrap sweaty feeling in the wee hours.
Then things took a Hunter S. Thompson turn for the bizarre. Almost every hotel I have ever visited in the world had a display of brochures promoting all of the places tourists can go leave their money. It did not exist! No pamphlets in screaming colors begging for attention. Eventually, the Amazon found a QR code attached to the wall that lead to a website with some very skeletal touristy stuff.
TRAVELER’S NOTE:
Restaurant menus have started going to QR codes with links to online menus. The classic menu by the door still exists, but the trend is to QRs, even at the door. Many places do not have free/easily accessibly WiFi. The Amazon had to use a Starbucks’ Wifi from across the street from De Maria to open their menu. Get a good roaming data plan before you go.
The immediate realization from the tourist website is Spanish culture and history have been banished to the dusty corners in favor of portraying Madrid as a cosmopolitan Mc-Euro sort of experience.
“If the problem is Spain, the answer is Europe.” These sage words came from one of our tour guides named German (pronounced “Herman”). Apparently in the rush to get Spain out of economic doldrums, they went hard Euro, and left everything else to survive as best it could. A very sad trade off in this author’s opinion.
If you want to shop in all of the same stores you can shop in at home, Madrid is your place to go.
Tourism located, we proceeded accordingly:
MADRID
Madrid’s main drag is the “Grand Via”. Learn this road as many things connect to it, or you can use it to get where you are going. Good restaurants and shows.
The main shopping district is “Puerta del Sol”. There are a few others including shopping malls, but this seems to be the main one.
“From Madrid with Love” is a chain of souvenir stores with outlets all over the city. Each store carries things different from the others, but overall there is little variety in their offerings. Plenty of mom & pop souvenir stores compete with “From Madrid”, and they have some variety on offer.
Historically, Spain is famous for their leather goods. Nice handbags and other leather goods are to be had. Expect to pay Stateside prices in Euros. You will find a better selection of locally made products outside of Madrid.
Churros in Spain are not coated in cinnamon and sugar like in the US. They are eaten with chocolate sauce. This is a genuine disservice to the footlong donut concept.
If you see a sign for “Dick Waffles” it is NOT a churro shop. It means you have wandered into one of the gayborhoods, and the waffles are indeed waffles shaped like human genitalia.
Chorizo & Jamón (Prosciutto) come in all of the flavors of the… pork byproduct. Shops offer Jamón with the hoof still attached. The variety of chorizo boggles the mind, and it was all delicious.
Bull fighting still available, but falling out of favor in the modern world. If you want to see one, buy tickets online. You may have better luck outside of Madrid.
The locals start in Spanish even if they speak English. Nobody was actively hostile, but they will make you work for it. The folks who did not speak English were still pleasant to deal with. Anyone who can manage a vacation in Mexico can manage Spain.
We found some unexpected treasures in the form of two shops.
La Violeta is located off Puerta del Sol. This shop specializes in sugar coated violet flowers, a truly unique gift option. The flavor of the candy is quite pleasant.
Vicens Torrones Artisanos sells Spanish marzipan/nougat in an amazing range of styles and flavors. This candy is a popular thing to serve at holidays and parties. Vincens has multiple locations across the city. Free samples are available. The candy is vacuum packed and traveled well in our carry-on. Be sure to chill it before opening to make it easy to cut and serve.
Madrid City Tours (aka Julia’s Travel) operates a Hop-On-Hop-Off bus tour service that runs along Historical and Modern routes. We love the hop-on-hop-off concept as a first day activity in a new place. These tours allow us to get the lay of the land without requiring too much from jet-lagged bodies and minds. Edinburgh, Prague, and Dublin have all been winners. The Madrid recorded tour program lacked context, and comes across a bit Hillbilly.
“Y’all see that building on the right? No? Well that’s because it ain’t there no more. It was replaced in 1973 with the current building, but that original building was…”
Fair warning: Madrid City Tour bus tickets are only good until 22:00 on the day of purchase. All of the other services we used were 24 hours from the time of purchase. This 24-hour ticket allowed us to get oriented on Day 1and pick out things to see along the bus route. On Day 2 we took the bus to those places and saved ourselves some steps in the process. Make sure you understand how the tickets work.
We purchased other adventures from Julia’s Travel
Guided tour of the Prado Art Museum/Museo del Prado is Madrid’s fine art gallery, and well worth the time if art is your thing. We bought a guided tour from Julia’s Travel, and it was a good investment. It would have taken an entire day, maybe two, to get through the entire collection, but the 90 minutes we spent hit the high points, and we got to see the Spanish crown jewels to boot.
Fun & Tickets sells day trips to a variety of locations across Spain.
We purchased day-trip bus tours to Segovia/Avila and Toledo. The guides were friendly and professional. Even with accented English, they were easily understood and willing to take questions.
Wear good walking shoes with thick soles and ankle support for these trips. Mediaeval cities have the bane of all street hikers: cobblestones. We are not talking about shaped cobblestones with an upper face doing its best to pretend to be flat. These are river rocks set in cement. There is not a flat space anywhere.
Segovia has a beautiful Roman aqueduct running through town. The Amazon was in full “Classical Culture Geek Mode” as we walked beneath this structure that dates back to the second century CE. The rest of the town was lovely.
Alcazar de Segovia Castle is a UNESCO Heritage site. It has a much more open/airy feel than other castles of the period. The Moorish décor and architecture is gorgeous. It was the first time the Traveler felt like he was really in Spain.
Avila is a mediaeval town with the original defensive walls still well maintained. Climbing the wall will cost you €5.
Bus day-trips tend to come with a “stop for lunch” along the way. In this case, the “lunch” included with our ticket was a drink (wine, beer, soda) and a single tapas plate consisting of a wedge of omelette. Omelette in Spain is more like quiche in consistency and presentation. Everything beyond this nibble was on your own tab. Recall that the Traveler prefers hotels with breakfast buffets? Yeah, that’s why.
Toledo is where you meet historical Spain. Very mediaeval feeling in the same way we experienced Edinburgh, Scotland The spousal unit found a few nice leather handbags she could not live without, and the Traveler found the most coveted souvenir, the classic Spanish Navaja.
In an attempt to see some smidge of Spanish culture, we booked tickets to a Flamenco show through Yellow Tours. The performance was about a ten-minute walk from our hotel and right off Grand Via. The ticket options were “Drinks”, “Tapas”, and “Menu” with prices increasing accordingly. We opted for the “Tapas” level, and found ourselves seated at a table actually touching the edge of the stage. To say the setting was “intimate” was like using The Station nightclub as an ideal business model. After we were seated, I realized our only exit in an emergency was up onto the stage and out through the stage entrance. This assumes there was a separate door back there. The show itself should have come with warning labels. Flamenco is a very athletic dancing style, and we rapidly found out we were sitting in the “splash zone” when one of the dancers made a sudden turn. If Elvis could have replicated this move, the first three rows of his audience would have passed out instantly and he would have saved a fortune in towels. The drink options were beer, wine, or soda. The Tapas came in three servings Bread, Jamón, omelette, and fried cheese, followed by Paella, and the meal concluded with some form of dessert pudding. We were not sure what the pudding was. It was not quite flan, and not quite crème brulee. The dancer’s sweat did nothing to improve the flavor.
This type of museum is my cup of tea, and this one did not disappoint. The museum is free on Sundays, but get in early. We went in the afternoon, and they chased us out before we got to take in everything. The Amazon was just getting started in the Roman gallery when the 10-minute announcement was played.
NOTE: Museums require backpacks to be checked at the door, and they have X-ray and metal detectors, so plan accordingly. The lockers they provide require a €1 coin to release the key. You get the coin back when you return the key. Just make sure you have at least one before heading out.
With all of the (Expletive Deleted) morons wrecking priceless bits of history with soup, paint, and glue just to make a political point, I did not mind the security measures.
No, the Egyptians were not Lost Travelers, nor did they try to conquer Spain. This temple is the result of the Aswan Dam project <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aswan_Dam >. The temple complex was going to be flooded as the water rose, so the main temple was disassembled and moved to Madrid. Entry is free unless you count standing in the sun on hot pavement for hours to get in. Only ten people are admitted at a time for a maximum of thirty minutes. If you really geek out on Ancient Egypt, this is worth a stop, just be prepared to wait.
This place is a model maker’s paradise. A €3 “donation” gets you in, and the presentation is very understandable with signage in Spanish and English. This was where the hidden history was very evident to anyone familiar with Spanish colonialism. Only a pair of slave manacles and a native dugout canoe hint at the omissions. The ship models are excellent and accompanied by period artifacts and explanations of naval architecture from the early medieval period to the present day.
Buy tickets online in advance! This cannot be emphasized enough. The line to buy tickets at the door was fifty yards long. The prepaid line was maybe five yards. We were inside in less than 2 minutes.
Admission covers roughly twenty rooms of the palace and the Royal Armory Guided and audio tours are available, but we found the signage adequate to our needs. Unfortunately, no photography is allowed, and the bums don’t even sell a coffee table book or postcard sets containing photos of the artifacts. The Royal Armory was everything the name implies. The artistry on the equipment was exquisite. One cuirass had multiple bullet strikes on the front and a very deep one on the back. Not one ball penetrated, but the owner was probably sporting some amazing bruises, if not broken ribs, from the impacts.
Dining in Spain falls into two main forms, “Tablecloth” and “Tapas”.
Tapas – €17/person
Tapas are “appetizers” eaten with drinks, and it is the standard pub food for Spain. Every bar serves tapas, and the menu is pretty similar everywhere. If you plan to make a meal out of it, order a bunch of dishes to taste a variety of things. Larger dishes like paella ) could be a light meal for one person. Paella is like a seafood-rice stir-fry flavored with saffron. Pretty tasty. Just expect it to be a light supper.
Sadly, the Tapas place we visited in Dublin, Ireland was significantly better than what we had in Spain.
Tablecloth – €35/person
These are restaurants with real table linen. We only mostly looked like international hoboes, but we were never turned away based on a dress code.
A tablecloth seems to come with a before-dinner snort of house wine/champagne/liqueur and gazpacho, an after-dinner palate cleanser, and a thanks-for-stopping-by shot of cognac as you pay your bill.
The menus are organized as Appetizers, Salad (ensalada), Protein, and Vegetables. The protein does not come with any default veggies. If you order a steak, you get a steak…on a plate. You will not see a “steak and baked potato” combination like you do in the US. We ordered our individual proteins with a couple of veggie plates to share.
Sangria and local beer were the beverages of choice on this expedition. The servers were bummed we were not ordering their expensive bottles, but we sampled several house variations of sangria with no ill effects. The beer was a basic heavy wheat with a flavor similar to Modelo or Tecate in the States. Easily drinkable on a hot day. Asador de Aranda surprised us with after dinner shots called “chupito”. The waiter would only tell us the drink consists of dark rum and lime juice. Seems some serious experimentation will be needed to recreate this little sipper.
Places we tried:
GastroVía 61 (Hotel Mayorazgo) This is the hotel restaurant, and it seemed like a Spanish-fusion, but I’m not sure exactly what it was supposed to be fused with. The food was tasty, and portions reasonable for the price.
Parilla El Goucho (Grand Via, Madrid) Argentinian Bar-B-Que – Get the “BBQ Plate” (priced per person). This is a sizzling iron griddle stacked with steak, sausage, and chicken. Not quite Texas de Brazil , but very satisfying. The dessert menu offered a dish called “Tropical Bird” which turned out to be half of a pine apple stuffed with crème brulee. It is highly recommended.
El Senador This was a bit hard to find because it is on a side street that runs towards the Royal Palace. The entrance is through a bar, and you sit in a basement space. Grilled lambchops and Cochinillo asado (roast suckling pig) are the specialties. Segovia has a statue dedicated to the “ceremony” of cutting the roast pigs. According to legend, a chef forgot his knife when presenting the dish to a nobleman. His helper suggested that the pigs were tender enough to cut with the edge of a plate, so using a plate to cut roast pigs is now a thing.
La Toscana This is classic Italian food. After a really long day, we wanted something close to the hotel, and this won the prize. Food was good, but nothing spectacular.
Asador de Aranda A steakhouse that cooks in a massive oven right in the main dining room. We had grilled steaks and chops. This place fills up quick for dinner. We bagged the last unreserved table, so plan ahead.
De Maria Another Argentine dining experience. Ribeyes and grilled chicken were the mains followed by a lovely flan. This was the only restaurant we visited that offered this classic dessert.
As a whole the trip was a success, except the Traveler never made it to Seville to get what’s left of his haircut. I really wanted a picture with the barber.
“North America in 1830 was an environment that presented those on the frontier with challenges on a daily basis that would kill most of us today within a week. The man of yesteryear was geared mentally to living in the wilderness. He intended to live in the wilderness, not escape from it. Most of us today think only in terms of survival, staying alive until we are rescued. It makes far more sense to be able to live in some degree of comfort and security and to be able to contribute to the determination of your own fate, rather than to sit around waiting for the Coleman stove to run out of fuel.” ~ Bill Bagwell paraphrased from “The Shooting Bag” in Guns & Ammo Nov.1985
Before I read Mr. Bagwell’s article, I had never really thought about how much a slight difference in mindset could change a person. It definitely changed the way I thought about my outdoor experience and the training I had received up to that point. It shaped the way I have approached my own life, and the things I have taught my daughter.
My early camping experiences had always been very temporary in nature with a fixed beginning and end to the event. We took what we would need, making sure to check the list full of must-have items twice before setting out. Later, as a Boy Scout, we camped in defined blocks of time, and we still had the logistics firmly in place. When I earned the Wilderness Survival and Emergency Preparedness Merit Badges, the training was framed in the context of a short-lived event that had not quite managed to kill us. We only had to struggle on long enough for Mr. Roger’s legendary “Helpers” to come to the rescue.
What happens when a given situation has no end point in sight? How does one act when “normal” is uncertain, or changed entirely? Most of the answer is between the ears.
The mind is the most critical resource we have as human beings. We know things. We can apply that knowledge creatively. We can discover new things. We can be mentally present, and engage with our world, or we can retreat from our world and allow events to overwhelm us while we sit in the dark waiting for the Helpers to arrive.
A survivor is a half-dead person fortunate to be still walking around. Mental Health professionals talk about PTSD and the trauma of the frail unfortunate person. Kit Carson, Jim Bridger, David Crockett, and the millions of aboriginal people who went before us would laugh their collective backsides off if they could overcome their astonishment at our foolishness.
The people who opened the American frontier faced famine, disease, and backbreaking labor as a matter of course in daily life. This does not include violent encounters with Native populations rightfully contesting the European invasion.
“Long Hunters” would often be gone for weeks or months at a time, traveling the wilderness, before returning to the settlements with salted meat and hides to trade. These men survived the experience not through blind luck, but because this was intentional behavior. This created a calm mindfulness that allowed them to apply their intellects to the work of that occupation.
“I ain’t never been lost. Fearsome confused for a month or two, but I ain’t never been lost.” ~ Brian Keith as Henry Frapp in The Mountain Men
In the current era, much can be learned from people “living rough” (aka Homeless). Regardless of the reason a person lives on the street, theirs is a life driven by an attitude of acceptance and persistence. They go through their day focused on staying warm, dry, hydrated, and fed. The cause of their circumstances is really unimportant. It is their adaptation to their version of normal. The key to staying alive is accepting what is, then actively thinking about how to best respond to the challenges of the day.
Scary pandemics, unemployment, financial disaster, house fire, car broken down in the middle of nowhere. I’m here. These are my circumstances. What am I going to do about it?
Note the “am” in that question. Most people think in terms of “What can I do about it?” This is an unempowering mindset. It allows for the easy answer of “There’s nothing I can do, but wait for Helpers to come make things right.” By taking the AM approach, you start thinking of resources, options, possibilities. Changing one little word makes you “contribute to the determination of your own fate, rather than waiting for the Coleman stove to run out of fuel.” It is empowering because it denies the passive mindset and demands action.
The top shelf of three closets in my Grandmother’s house was always stuffed with toilet paper. The two deep freezer units were always full of produce from Grandma’s extensive Victory Garden. I never understood this as a small child, but I never questioned it until I was older and realized my grandparents and great-grandparents had been through World War I, the Great Depression, and World War II. They knew the modern reality of scarcity and uncertainty. They were not survivalists or preppers. They knew from experience what could happen and stockpiled those things likely to be difficult to get. I don’t recall hearing stories of any family members suffering serious privation during these periods. It could be due to accepting the terms of life, and actively living through the challenges that come along instead of just surviving.
An excellent illustration of this comes from “Mrs. Jorgensen” played by Olive Carey in The Searchers: “It just so happens we be Texicans. Texican is nothing but a human man way out on a limb. This year and next, and maybe for a hundred more. But I don’t think it’ll be forever. Someday this country’s gonna be a fine, good place to be. Maybe it needs our bones in the ground before that time can come.”
(The Irish nation and people are such an integral part of the tapestry of humanity that neither can be adequately covered by a single article, so we’ll start with the the generic elements of interest to folks considering a visit to Ireland, and additional installments will expand on topics historical, cultural, and political.)
A bit of theme music to kick this off:
O’Reillys & the Paddy Hats (Good Irish rock. No U2 doesn’t count. Ireland has officially disowned Bono for being a jerk.)
Aer Lingus was the airline of choice on this expedition. In spite of the sexy sounding name, and the generally positive online rep, this was like flying Southwest back in the 70’s and 80’s. (Get ‘em on. Get em’ out. Discount all the way.) The outbound food was hot, but that was about all it had going for it. Their popsicle stick (literally wooden) cutlery was a laughable virtue signal to the Greens, but it worked OK for the intended purpose. I say laughable because everything went into the same trash bin, so some poor bastard in Bangladesh has to dig through the trash to “recycle” it. The upside of our return flight was we went through US Customs in Dublin, so we did not have to go through that process in Chicago.
(WARNING: Do NOT book a connection through Chicago when returning to the USA! You arrive at Terminal 5 (International), and have to change terminals via their rail system. Normally this would not be a big deal in a civilized territory, but the rail system is OUTSIDE of the security environment which forced travelers to go back through TSA screening to get to their connection.
The attitude of the TSA officers, was the rudest I have encountered since the Patriot act created the agency. A mother traveling alone with two children under five, and an infant in a chest carrier, leaned forward to do something I could not see, and the infant fell out of the carrier to the concrete floor. When the mother lifted the child, the baby was unconscious. The TSA agents just sat there doing nothing as the mother begged for help. People in the line started hollering for a doctor, and a woman who was in line to check in for her own flight ran down to assist. The TSA people tried to stop her from crossing into the pre-check area to assist the child, but otherwise did nothing. The infuriating part of this was the officers were not reacting like this was some kind of potential distraction to cover the beginning of a terrorist event. They just didn’t FNG care.
If you have no choice but to go through Chicago, make sure you have a 5-hour layover. These days your arrival will probably be late, and if you get hung up in TSA making your connection, you better have a hotel on speed dial.)
Expedition Thumbnail
The Traveler’s plan was for two days in Dublin followed by a three-day small bus tour to the Galway region, two big bus day trips, and wrapping with two more days in Dublin. The weather throughout was bright and sunny with temps up to about 26C/80F. Mornings and evenings were 15C/60F. The lack of rain surprised us, but you cannot count on getting lucky, so pack the rain gear.
Eats
Unless you try an ethnic restaurant, expect pub food pretty much everywhere. Almost every place we stopped had the same four or five food groups on the menu:
Irish Stew – Beef stew with potatoes, carrots, etc.
Guinness Beef Pie – Beef bits, carrots, peas, and a Guinness flavored sauce over a bed of mashed potatoes, and topped with a pie crust.
Angus Beef Burger and chips (fries)
Fish and Chips
Bangers & Mash – Fried pork sausage served on a bed of mashed potatoes.
A few vegetarian offerings were available along with Buffalo Wings, and other oddments adopted from American pub food. If you need a high fiber diet to survive, plan to eat a lot of oatmeal at breakfast.
See one pub, and you’ve seen ‘em all was the reality we faced, but all was not lost.
In the interest of the experience, we started with a pub called the Hairy Lemon in Dublin. It is often difficult to separate a place the locals go from a tourist trap. Hairy Lemon was around the corner from the Molly Malone statue, and definitely tourist focused.
A young lass was practicing her concertina next to Molly under the watchful eye of her father when we went by.
I paused to ask the gent how the Irish felt about struggling for independence for 700 years only to be sold down the river to Brussels (aka the EU). He hedged his answer before suggesting I look for a pub called The Long Hall where open debate is live and well. Unfortunately, time constraints prevented an evening at this establishment, but it is on the list for the next visit.
The orange façade of a Spanish tappas restaurant called Salamanca invited us in one evening. This place is in direct view of Molly Malone, and well worth a visit even if you live for pub food. The ladies took a shine to their strawberry-basil sangria, and in spite of being a hardcode whiskey drinker, I have to admit it was tasty.
Another non-Pub adventure was the Italian place Toscana. The ladies enjoyed pasta while I took on a twelve-inch Prosciutto di Parma pizza. After a sample from the Mrs’ plate, I should have gone for the Lasagna, but all enjoyed the meal.
Hotels
Our home base was the Maldron Hotel on Kevin Street in Dublin. The room was adequate, and we had a nice view of the steeple of St. Patrick’s Cathedral above the row houses opposite from the hotel. The restaurant served an “Irish Breakfast” that is hardly distinguishable from a “Scottish Breakfast”, or an “English Breakfast” consisting of Bacon (steamed ham), Eggs (scrambled or over-easy), Hash browns, Black or White pudding, Bangers (grilled sausage), Baked Beans, and various baked goods. In this case, the black pudding had a touch of haggis flavoring, that brought back fond memories of Edinburgh
Always book a hotel with breakfast. It just saves time and misery when you wake up fighting jet lag, hangover, and other miseries. The Maldron offers take-away breakfasts if you order the day before. It was a turkey and cheese sandwich, a piece of fruit, and cup of yogurt, but far better than an empty stomach when you are catching an early tour bus.
Dinner offerings, were the universal pub food, with a pasta and veggie stir-fry options tacked on. Portions and prices were fair, and the food quality comparable to the USA (if that’s saying anything). The USD was trading at $0.90 to the Euro. Meals ran €15.00 – €20.00 a plate.
The bar service at the Maldron was pathetic. They offered a generous bar menu, but almost everything you ordered was “not available”. This includes Jameson Whiskey! Do your drinking elsewhere, and stagger back to the hotel to sleep.
Overall the Maldron gets high marks for being centrally located, clean, and up to date. We stayed there before and after the Galway trip, and would gladly stay there again.
We spent two nights in the Flannery Hotel in Galway. This hotel is adequate, but has not been updated recently. There are no USB charger ports in the room, so you must have a plug adapter suitable for Irish/EU power sockets.
We had a lovely view of a Rugby field behind the hotel, but we were not there for the view. The restaurant offered the standard “Breakfast” options. The dinner menu was about the same as elsewhere, but the portions were fair, and quality was adequate. Flannery’s bar service was quite professional.
Things to Do/See In Dublin
(This section will be a listing of the sights and tours we took in. Some will be links to supporting articles offering an expanded description of the historical, social, and political aspects of the events. This section will be updated as the supporting material is added.)
Hop on-Hop off Tour Buses: These have become a staple Day 1 activity of our vacations. You buy 24-hour or 48-hour tickets, and you can catch any of the company’s buses that circulate through the city. The tours come with a recorded audio commentary describing the sights along the route, but the real benefit of these tours is a quick way to orient yourself in relation to a city’s landmarks. Tourist maps provided by hotels and visitor bureaus are usually crap, so building a mental model of the city is critical to navigation. Take the full ride around the city. Make notes on interesting things along the way. Once the tour starts over, you can jump off at those spots, and then grab the next bus that comes along. You have unlimited uses of the buses while your ticket is in effect, so leverage this. In Dublin we used Big Bus Tours. Unlike other companies, the Big Bus drivers provided the English commentary along the route. We rode with three different drivers. Our favorite driver was Jerry. We loved his enthusiastic presentation style, and his expansive knowledge of Irish history that he used to flesh out the standard tour script as we moved between points of interest. (Note: Do not confuse this reference to the company “Big Bus Tours” with the description of a big bus tour below.)
St. Patrick’s Cathedral & Christ Church: Originally Catholic cathedrals, these two churches were forcibly converted to Anglican (Church of England) under Henry VIII.
We visited St. Patrick’s because it was St. Patrick’s, of course. You get an audio tour player with the price of admission, but the noise level inside the building made it almost useless. The explanatory signage made up for this. If you stop by St. Pat’s say “Hi” to Jonathan Swift.
Christ Church covers a few city blocks, so it is hard to miss as a landmark. We skipped this Cathedral except for the section given over to the “Dublinia” exhibit described below. The best part of Christ Church and St. Patrick’s is the steeples are in sight of each other making fantastic landmarks for getting around. Originally, Christ Church was inside Dublin’s city walls, and St. Patrick’s was outside, but the walls are long gone except in Belfast, but more on that later..
Dublinia: Dublin takes its name from the junction of the Liffey and Poddle rivers . This junction stirred up the silt creating a dark pool called “Dubh Linn” (Duv-lin) or “Dark Pool” by the locals. Dublin also has the distinction of being a rather large Viking settlement, and the Dublinia museum examines the Scandinavian influence on the evolution of the Dublin region. Well worth your time to take in.
Dublin Castle: Not really a castle anymore, Dublin Castle is the seat of government for Ireland. The tour covers some of the original foundations of the castle as well as the State apartments used for official events. One display is a huge banquet table covered in glass potatoes presented by Queen Elizabeth II on her visit to Ireland in commemoration of the Irish potato famine in the 1840s that cause so many Irish to flee their country in hopes of survival. If ever a head of state delivered a monument to tastelessness, this one is close to the top. The originator of this idea should have been flogged.
Jeanie Johnston: Built by a Scotsman, and named for a character in a Rabbie Burns poem, the Jeanie Johnston was one of the many “coffin ships” desperate families used to flee the famine of the 1840’s. The ship permanently anchored on the Liffey river is a replica of the original Jeanie Johnston. Admission includes a guided tour of the ship. Steve was our guide, and his masterful presentation of the story of this ship will almost bring you to tears. Of all the coffin ships that took desperate people abroad, the Jeanie Johnston is the only one never to have lost a soul. Even after she sank…Ask Steve about it.
Famine Memorial: Just down the way from the Jeanie Johnston is a group of haunting figures shuffling toward the unknown. This memorial to those who suffered through the famine will remind you of photos of concentration camp survivors the world over. The famine was yet another case of ethnic cleansing fully deserving of remembrance.
National Museum of Ireland:If “National” appears in the name of a museum in Ireland, it means admission is free. We only had time to take in the Archaeology section, and it was well worth it. We especially enjoyed seeing the Viking Gold and nobody can help but be fascinated by the “Boggies”. These are naturally occurring mummies believed to have been created by placing the victims of ritual sacrifice into peat bogs. The chemical composition of the bog prevents decay, and the person is transformed into a mummy often with hair, skin, and clothing almost intact.
Trinity College & Book of Kells: The Book of Kells is a mediaeval illuminated manuscript containing the first four gospels of the New Testament. The museum consists of wall panels and some small display cases explaining the history of illuminated manuscripts, how the paints were manufactured, and photos of the Book of Kells specifically.
One of the cooler things at Trinity College is the Old Library and the “Long Room” containing upwards of 200,000 books from the 1500’s on up. Beautiful vaulted ceilings and dark wood paneling made this like something out of Hogwarts.
WARNING: This is not an impulse stop to fill in a dead spot between other sights. You must book your tickets online and in advance. Demand is high, so plan accordingly. Considering the price and difficulty getting tickets on impulse, either plan for this stop up front, or give it a miss.
Kilmainham Gaol:(pronounced Kil-mane-ham jail) This is the place where Irish heroes were jailed and executed for their participation in the Easter Uprising in 1916. This museum requires advanced ticket purchase, and book early to get a spot. The jail was almost lost to neglect until a foundation began restoration and preservation. The tours are very well presented, and the museum is well worth the time.
Note: The Netflix series “Rebellion” gives a decent thumbnail of the Easter Uprising, and provides a point of reference for several sites in and around Dublin like the General Post Office that were occupied by the resistance fighters. Many of these sites are mentioned in the Hop-on/Hop-off bus tour, but a little background on the Uprising helps put the bits together
On the Road
We took three bus tours around Ireland, and I’ll describe them in order.
First I must explain the difference between “Small Bus” and “Big Bus” tours. A big bus expedition drags 45-60 strangers across the countryside. If you are lucky, a tour guide is on the bus providing a running commentary on the sights, and answering questions while the driver drives. On a small bus tour, you have about fifteen passengers, and the driver fulfills both driver and tour guide roles. With the smaller vehicle the setting is much more intimate. Everyone can hear what is said, and participate in the conversation. A small bus is a physically smaller vehicle meaning the tour company can offer more off the beaten path stops along the way. Big bus tours seem very rushed at the stops because it takes so long for that many people to exit the bus and to get back on the bus at departure time. The difference between a “big bus” tour and a “small bus” tour must be experienced to be appreciated.
3-day trip to Galway with Rabbie’s Tours: We first met Rabbie’s on our jaunt through Scotland. They are a “small bus” company. Rabbie’s company motto should be “We’re goin’! Come join the fun!” because unlike the big bus companies, their minimum number of passengers is 1. They guarantee your tour where other companies may cancel on your if they fail to hit their minimum head count.
Our driver was a fine gent named Andy, who was a font of good humor and information on Ireland’s politics, history, and cuisine. We had five people on the bus, and a good time was had by all.
The trip description from Rabbie’s website with editorial comments inserted.:
Corcomroe Abbey A ruined abbey. Oddly enough, the cemtary is still in use with a number of fresh interments.
The Burren – This national park is home to some of Ireland’s most profound spiritual and natural culture.
<Traveler> The Burren has a chamber burial marked by standing stones dating back to the Neolithic. Wear good hiking shoes, the rocks can be murder on weak ankles. </Traveler>
The Cliffs of Moher – An awe-inspiring 700ft drop into the crashing waves of the Atlantic Ocean.
Galway City – After the sights of Galway Bay, this lively place will be your home. Plenty of excellent food and cosy pubs to choose from.
<Traveler> Galway only seems to have a tiny center section composed of about five blocks of shops and pubs downtown. Andy warned us to “GO EARLY” if we wanted to get a table. He should have said “Go VERY early”. He recommended The King’s Head <https://www.thekingshead.ie/food> and The Dail < https://thedailbar.com/ > (pronounced like the name “Doyle”), and McDonough’s < http://www.mcdonaghs.net/>. The only space we could find space for three was a tiny donut of a table wrapped around a pillar next to the bar in The Dail. Our three stools posed a significant traffic hazard to the bachelor party taking place at the neighboring table, and the waitresses coming and going form the bar. The food was typical, and uninspiring. The canned pop music too loud to allow conversation. Definitely not the experience we were looking for.
Galway’s center offered a variety of street musicians and performers of varying style and quality. One gent from the southlands was skillfully ripping up his sitar < https://www.britannica.com/art/sitar > on one corner, while a couple of girls in sequined skirts were clicking their heels just around the next bend.</Traveler>
Kylemore Abbey – A home for Benedictine nuns fleeing World War 1, this incredible neo-gothic building is steeped in the scars and bravery of world history.
<Traveler> Hold your heartstrings ladies. This is a hunting lodge, remodeled into a Disney-class castle built by a man for the love of his life. The gardens are amazing. Well worth the time. </Traveler>
Connemara National Park – Stunning vistas and superb wildlife abound within this famously serene park, from the towering peaks of the Twelve Bens to the panoramic Sky Road.
Clonmacnoise – (Pronounced like its spelled Clon-Mac-Noise) A 1500 year old abbey, whose ancient spirituality pervades the whole area. The heart of Ireland’s Golden Age of Learning.
<Traveler> The whiskey we sampled was not to my taste, but the tour was very interesting, especially because the place is run by a steam engine, but only when the river is too low to drive the waterwheel. A worthy stop for those with a bit of Steampunk in their veins. </Traveler>
Another benefit of the small bus tours is flexibility. We were making such good time on our itinerary, we were able to make an unscheduled pitstop in the village of Cong. Yes, its pronounced just like “Kong” of the film King Kong, but in this case, it is famous for another film, The Quiet Man starring John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara. Personally, I think the statue captures The Duke pretty well, but Maureen lost out.
Day Trip to Blarney Castle with Irish Day Tours: This was a big bus tour with our driver David. The bus was FULL making loading and exiting take longer than the time allowed to take in the sights you stopped for.
9:00 AM: ROCK OF CASHEL
We will arrive at one of Ireland’s 7 wonders – The Rock of Cashel! Here we will explore the Hall of Vicars, Cormack’s Chapel, Celtic Cathedral, Round Tower, and the surrounding grounds filled with ancient high crosses! In addition, you will have the marvelous opportunity to gaze upon one of Ireland’s oldest Romanesque wall paintings inside the world-famous historical landmark.
11:30 AM: KISS THE STONE AT BLARNEY CASTLE
We then arrive at Blarney Castle, which is the highlight of the tour for most. Blarney Castle is known around the world for its famous Blarney Stone. Kiss the stone and receive the “gift of the gab”. Blarney Castle isn’t all about the Stone; the Blarney castle itself is worthy of exploration as are its fantastic lush grounds and woodland walks. There is much to see and explore. See the Rock Close and find the Wishing Steps to make a wish!
<Traveler> Blarney Castle is well preserved, and the grounds are lovely. The infamous Blarney Stone is at the top of the battlements (aka on the roof). To reach the top of the battlements, you must climb VERY narrow, VERY steep, and VERY uneven spiral stair cases. If you are over 6ft (183cm) tall, you will have problems not knocking yourself out moving inside the castle. If your waist size prevents you from flying coach comfortably, you will have problems with the stairs. Good footwear is a must. This is not meant to be offensive. This is fair warning, and a safety issue. A fall on the staircase endangers not only the person who falls, but all of the people beneath them. I say “beneath” because even with proper social distancing, the staircase is so steep your nose will be mere inches from the backside of the person ahead of you. A dropped cellphone will not stop bouncing until it hits the basement, and neither will a human being. </Traveler>
15:30 PM: CAHIR CASTLE
For our last stop of the day, we will arrive at Cahir Castle in County Tipperary. Cahir Castle is one of Ireland’s most preserved castles still boasting a lot of its original structure. Originally built as a defensive castle it is situated on a rocky island on the River Suir. Enjoy a presentation on the history of the castle to begin your experience exploring the beautiful Cahir Castle.
<Traveler> This was a Anglo-Norman castle, and is extremely well maintained. It sports two canon balls embedded in the walls from a siege. Our tour guide was great. She had a perky enthusiasm for descibing the horrors of siege warfare and the gruesome results. Well worth the time. </Traveler>
Another full big bus trip with our driver, Brian providing the commentary, and a bit of song along the way. The rest of the trip was a COMPLETE RIP-OFF. Read on for details.
CARRICK A REDE (photos) Enjoy amazing views to and from the rope bridge. Traditionally fishermen erected the bridge to Carrick-a-Rede Island over a chasm 23m deep and 20m wide, to harvest salmon from their nets. With views of the Mull of Kintyre in Scotland and Rathlin Island.
<Traveler> This was a tease. We found out once we were on the bus, that the park has been closed to big bus tours, so we got a scenic overlook photo op instead. Not a huge loss, but it shows a lack of care on the part of Paddy Wagon that they fail to keep their tour descriptions current. </Traveler>
GIANT’S CAUSEWAY (at least 90 minutes) We continue along the coastal drive with fantastic views of Whitepark Bay and Portbradden. We visit the 37,000 basalt columns whose tops form “stepping stones” leading from the cliff foot and disappearing under the sea. They reappear in the island of Straffe, hence the legend that this was a road built by the giant Finn McCool to enable him to cross over to Scotland. Truly an amazing wonder of the world!
<Traveler> This was amazing. Photos can’t do this rock formation justice. It is not that the formation is so massive, but the bizarre shapes of the stones themselves. The other amazing thing is how far the visitor center is from the formation itself. The walk to the Causeway is down a rather long slope. The route is paved, but would be a rough climb back up in the rain. Fortunately, a shuttlebus runs between the visitor center and the Causeway every few minutes, so folks with mobility issues can enjoy this site comfortably. Again, shoes with solid ankle support and clingy soles are a must. I wore sneakers, and even in dry weather, the rocks were slick enough to cause concern. Surviving a fall on the causeway means a nice helicopter ride to the local medics. </Traveler>
DARK HEDGES One of the most popular natural phenomena in Northern Ireland, the Dark Hedges were used as a set for the hit TV series Game of Thrones. It was the famous King’s Road in Season 2. The hedges were planted by the Stuart family in the eighteenth century. It was intended to impress visitors as they approached the entrance to their home, Gracehill House. Two centuries later, the trees remain a magnificent sight and have become known as the Dark Hedges.
<Traveler>This was just a sad attempt to create a tourist trap for Game of Thrones (GoT) fans. The stop is adjacent to an abandoned GoT themed hotel several investors have tried to get off the ground. Other than walking down the road between the rows of trees, and smelling the livestock, there is a small café waiting to take your money. Definitely a thing to miss. </Traveler>
BALLINTOY Small picturesque village, Ballintoy was an ideal location for several Game of Thrones sets. You will recognize the landscapes from season 2 that were used in some of the most crucial scenes in the series.
<Traveler> Another sad attempt to squeeze tourism out of GoT. It’s a pretty photo op, but so memorable, I had to go back and google it to recall what it was. </Traveler>
COASTLINE VIEWS We travel along the Causeway Coastal route between Ballycastle and Dunluce to experience one of the most dramatic drives in the world, now rated as one of the world’s great road journeys. We transport you by windswept cliffs, spectacular scenery, and fabulous unspoiled beaches.
<Traveler> I agree, the coastal scenery is lovely, but it was not exactly what I paid for on this ride. We stopped for lunch at a “cafe” that we suspect was a collaboration among the bus tour companies. The food is served cafeteria style. The portions seemed fair, but the manner it reminded us of a trip to Greece where the tour guide was obviously steering the guests to specific restaurants along the stops. This place was out in the boonies, so we had zero options, but after Greece, we took no chances. Beware of this trick. I don’t mind the guides suggesting places to eat, but I resent them not being up front about the financial relationship guiding their recommendations. </Traveler>
DUNLUCE CASTLE We continue a wonderful day with a photo stop at Dunluce Castle, home to the McDonnell Clan for many years and considered the most romantic castle in Ireland. En route we pass through Bushmills, famed for the fantastic whiskey, which is enjoyed all over the world.
<Traveler> Another scenic photo stop. As we drove past, you can see the castle is open for tours, but that was not a stop on this run. We would have been better off skipping the GoT stops in favor of this one. </Traveler>
BELFAST Our next stop is Belfast City Center. Here you will have approximately 60 minutes of free time to enjoy and explore this Northern Ireland’s capital before returning to Dublin for approximately 20:30 pm.
<Traveler> The biggest scam of this trip was the stop in Belfast. As you cruise through the countryside, the driver mentions the “Black Cab” tour of Belfast. What the brochure fails to mention is if you don’t want to pay the extra £20 (Northern Ireland is on the British Pound, but euros are accepted in most cases.) per head, you just get dumped in downtown to shop for an hour or so. The Black Cab tours < https://belfastblackcabtours.co.uk /> picks you up and drives you around the city. On the tour, the driver who is supposed to be a first-hand observer of the Troubles describes the political history of the times of conflict, and shows you various political murals, the Peace Walls (More on this is a separate article), & etc. All told, you are tacking £20 onto the €65per person for the bus ride to get the full experience. Not a price performer. </Traveler>
Conclusion
Ireland is for everyone. There is something very romantic looking out the window as you ride along watching the infamous stone walls separating the pastures of the south and west turn into hedges in the north. Ruins of fortified manor houses and ancient homes standing among grazing cattle and sheep make the visitor appreciate the depth of history of the land and her people. The Irish have touched everyone on the planet in one way or another, and they deserve more recognition for their contributions to the richness of humanity. They have been invaded, starved, repressed, exploited, and forcefully relocated for centuries, but they have never been assimilated. They are unashamedly Irish, and Almighty willing, always will be.
“Never travel with more than you can carry at a dead run for a mile, and stow under the seat ahead of you” ~ Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck was one of my grandmother’s favorite humorists. She wrote about dealing with family life from a perspective halfway between cynic and stoic. Watching the tradgedy surrounding the refugees fleeing Ukraine over the past days, made me think about my posts on Inches and Ounces.
Looking at the footage from Ukraine reminded me of Erma’s line from the beginning of this post.
Refugees all over the world run with little more than your typical airline carry-on allowance, and often not even that much. These people drag their children through their apocalypse with less gear that the typical American “survivalist” carries in his pockets and fanny pack on a daily basis.
Are we doing it right, or wrong?
Can we as individuals strap on our gear, and run a mile without becoming a casualty? For the past 13 years, my commute was twenty-five miles one-way. At my usual walking speed, that’s eight and half hours straight through.
Now reality sets in. I’m too out of condition to maintain three miles an hour for eight hours straight. That twenty-five miles looks more like twelve to sixteen hours on foot even without having to detour around, or hide from, trouble along the way. So how much weight penalty do I carry to cover that distance, if I’m only packing the essentials?
My Get Home Bag contains a first aid kit, poncho, fire kit, fifty yards of 550 paracord, a carabiner, a fixed blade knife, 2 1-quart canteens, and 2 pair of socks. The entire thing weights about 6 pounds full-up. I made the decision to routinely wear clothing appropriate to the weather conditions I’ll potentially be walking through, so I won’t need to pack extra garments. My revolver and speedloaders add another two pounds to my load.
I chose a compact steel frame revolver for my escape kit because it is the smallest handgun I find comfortable when shooting .357 magnum. Could I have chosen another pistol? Sure. Pick your fave. BUT! In a refugee situation, you do not want to make yourself a target by having a cool gun somebody might think they need more than you do. In any case, you will not be carrying enough ammo to shoot your way home.
Recall a young fellow named Rittenhouse was recently chased through the streets by a mob even though he had an AR15. A big gun attracts attention from people who may not be intimidated by its existence.
“Keep it secret. Keep it safe.” Discretion is the ultimate watchword in a refugee situation. Small blades and small guns are the order of the day. In the immortal words of Gabe Suarez, “Break contact and continue mission.“
Our job is to be unseen and unheard as we go along our way, but we MUST to be very honest with ourselves as we plan for the Big Day. As you put the final touches on your bag, ask yourself, “Can I meet the Bombeck Standard of being able to carry my kit at a dead run for a mile and stow it under the seat ahead of me?”
2005 saw the bith of a TV series called Survivorman. The host was a Canadian gent named Les Stroud who took off alone into the nowhere land to demonstrate woodcraft and survival techniques. This was one of the early survival shows, and it had value far beyond the “reality” ones that came after because Les really was alone. He packed his own camera gear and set up his shots himself. Most of all, what he taught was suitable for Joe Average. Les minimized risks wherever he could, and he preached a humble approach to staying alive in austere circumstances.
Regular viewers of Survivorman learned Les is a musician, and one of the things he packed along on his expeditions was a harmonica, and that is the topic of this exploration.
Morale and intellectual stimulation are critical to survival, and as demonstrated by vast number of suicides and cases of clinical depression, drug overdose, and increased alcohol consumption caused by the lockdowns of the past years, morale suffers greatly in isolation. Even in a group survival scenario, morale is critical to maintaining group cohesion. One of the ways to reduce the impact of isolation and the stresses attendant to austere living is to have a hobby or learning opportunity to focus on. Music offers a solution to both, and the harmonica is an excellent tool for the job.
Unlike most musical instruments, the basic harmonica wins on size, weight, and complexity of maintenance in comparison to any other instrument except spoons. Stepping back to our prior posts regarding the weight penalty of heading for the hills, a harmonica adds about five ounces to the load. A small format harmonica song book adds less than eight more. If you choose to pack along an extra set of reeds, you are looking at adding less than an ounce. A penalty, but is it worth it?
Learning to play the harp is only as complicated as the tune you attempt. Start slowly with a simple tune you are already familiar with. The timing of the breath takes a bit of practice because it controls both the note played and the tempo of the music. Yours truly prefers Hohner harps because they seem to take less wind to achieve good sound, and hyperventilating in the middle of a song makes you lose your place.
Reading music is not required to play the harmonica. The holes in the harmonica are numbered. Low number = Low Note. A “diatonic” harp plays one note when you blow through it, and a higher note when you draw (inhale) through the instrument. Hold the harp with the #1 hole to your left. Blow through #1, then draw through the same hole. You will hear the difference. To play the scale, Blow 1, Draw 1, Blow 2, Draw 2, so on up the ladder to the right.
“Harp tabs” are translations of music for the harmonica. They show what hole(s) to play and they have an Up or Down arrow to indicate Blow (Up) or Draw (Down). With a basic idea of how the piece sounds, a beginner can rapidly learn to play the tune written in Harp Tabs. This makes learning new music very fast for the beginner. Of course there are more advanced playing techniques and harps that will blow your mind (and wallet) in their complexity, but the fancy stuff is just not required for the hobbyist.
Practicing the harmonica provides some intellectual stimulation and distraction the mind needs to stay centered. The sense of accomplishment of learning a new tune is a real boost to the morale. (Or a path to a quick death if your survival team don’t take to harmonica music.) If you are really hard up, playing on a street corner might earn a few bucks from passers-by.
Inch Bag, Bug-out Bag, Get Home Bag, EDC. Glamping with guns.
A Tiger McKee article in American Handgunner Magazine caught my eye the other day. Tiger was hustling the Ruger PC Carbine, and he made the comment that the PC Carbine could be matched to use the magazines from a popular pistol, and if you add a snubnose revolver chambered in 9mm, you were all set.
All set for what exactly?
The Apocalypse-porn industry has grossly distorted some things, so a quick personal survey seems in order. Almost all human activity revolves around a central base of support with stockpiled resources of food, tools, and other necessities of life. The concept of bugging out and heading for the hills with a man-portable kit of bare essentials is THE recurring theme, but bugging out all ends at some mythological Bug Out Location with its cached store of infinite supplies miraculously intact after the ravaging hordes have passed by. Again we have an established base of supply, but how realistic is it if you have no specific place you are trying to reach? “My name is Bob and I have my INCH (I’m Not Coming Home) pack, and my trusty solar charged Apaco-Blaster in the 40 Gigawatt Range. Peace out!”
Let’s start with three solid facts:
1. All animals need shelter to survive. This fact guides the first principle of wilderness survival. I have to keep myself dry, and at a safe body temperature, or I will not survive. Shelter helps me do that by countering environmental factors that make it hard to maintain a healthy body temperature. Insulation keeps the warmth in or the heat out depending on latitude and a roof keeps the precipitation at bay.
2. All living things need water. Depending on environmental conditions (see Shelter) and physical activity levels, a human can go about 72 hours without water before survival becomes iffy. Again, depending on environmental conditions and activity levels, a human requires about one gallon of water per day to survive. That is two quarts of drinking water and two quarts for cooking and VERY basic hygiene.
3. All living things require food. Assuming adequate water, a healthy human can manage 3-5 days without food before physical and mental impairment sets in. Once again, the time factor is impacted by environment and activity level. A cold or active person burns more calories than the person lying around in a warm bed.
Now let’s consider some basic gear required to meet these needs.
Shelter
1. Clothing – Normal street clothing for a temperate climate run about 2lbs, and a decent pair of sturdy ankle-high walking/hiking shoes with add another 2lbs.
2. Fire – When hunting, I routinely carry strike anywhere matches in a waterproof case, a ziplock baggie full of dryer lint, and a firesteel. The entire kit weighs in at about 4 ounces.
3. Rain – A military grade poncho is my preferred rain gear. It will keep most of me dry. I can also be draped over my pack to keep my gear dry. Weight 1lbs. If you add a “woobie” (aka poncho liner), it jumps to 2lbs.
4. Heat/Cold – This is the challenge that requires the most creativity since very few climates on Earth experience extremes of temperature within the same 24-hour period. A survivor usually has to plan for short-term temperature swings within a relatively narrow range of about 20 degrees. Twenty degrees is more than enough to kill a person, but it is within the capability of most outdoors enthusiasts to cope with by appropriate choices in clothing and gear. Since we have already covered clothing, we can move on to gear. The classic (pre-1940) bedroll consisted of one or more wool blankets. During the 19th century cattle drives, the cowboy’s bedroll was called a “soogan”. It was a oilskin tarp folded around two wool blankets and rolled up like a modern sleeping bag. The weight of a soogan was about 6.5lbs which is close to the weight of a modern four-season sleeping bag, but the oilskin tarp acted as a waterproof ground sheet which the modern sleeping bag typically does not have. Add another pound or two for the ground sheet.
Water
1. Sources – A reliable source of reasonably clean water has been the bane of mankind as hominids spread across the planet. In modern times, water courses have been diverted, dammed, or otherwise altered. Industrial pollutants, toxic runoff, and sewage have killed most of the remaining water courses.
2. Water Treatment – A traveler must assume any source of water found is toxic, so Filtration gear (1lbs personal pump filter), and purification method are mandatory. Chemical purification tablets (100 tablets = 1lbs) are an option, but once they are gone, there are no more. A bucket for boiling water is a better solution.
4. Transportation – Water is heavy. A US Gallon (3.8L) weighs 8.34lbs. That is the same as 300 rounds of 9mm ammo. This prairie son hunts with two military canteens with the aluminum cups that fit on the bottom, so I can boil my water without lugging an extra container. In an emergency evacuation, I would hang two more on my pack located to balance out my load.
Food
1. Sources – Your neighbor may be a jerk, but unless we are replaying “The Road”, I don’t think long pig is on the menu when just starting out. With industrialization, urbanization, and industrial agriculture defacing the planet, the options for living off the land are thin.
2. Collection – You have the classic options of “hunt” or “gather”. Don’t buy the hype that the south is being overrun by wild hogs. They are out there, they do a terrific amount of damage, and they are delicious, but they do require effort to hunt. Taking large game requires a firearm, or archery tackle. Small game is much easier to trap using a snare, and fishing is an option, so pack some handline gear. Snare sets and handline fishing gear will set you back about a pound. Rabbits, squirrels, fish, and birds (use small grain and a rat trap) do not a wholesome diet make, so study your wild plants and hope for a mild winter. Shooting another person’s livestock, or stealing standing crops because you are starving may be a defense to prosecution, but in an systemic collapse emergency it might land you at the bottom of a dry well.
3. Preparation – Raw meat need to be cooked or preserved quickly to avoid food poisoning. Boiling the meal and consuming the broth in addition to the solid components yields the most nutrition by volume. Cooking requires fire, and fire has been a security problem since humankind took up Bar-B-Que. Smoke during the day, light during the night, and odor all the time attracts attention. Attention is not what you want in a high threat environment. The fire kit has already been discussed, so the cookpot will set you back about half a pound in weight penalty.
4. Preservation – An alternative to cooking, some meats can be preserved. Beef, venison, and fish can be dried into jerky. Jerking does not work with pork, so traditionally it has been brined. (Salt pork ring a bell?). If you are traveling with a group that can provide adequate perimeter security while building the drying racks, and making sure the crows don’t steal your meat, this might be viable, but consider all of those folks need to eat while waiting for their next meal to dry out. Regardless, do the homework in advance. Food poisoning with diarrhea causes dehydration and maybe death.
Transportation – Now we finally get to the point of this essay. Excluding the rifle and bow mentioned under the Food section, the weight penalty for a person traveling on foot in Texas is about
Water – 8.34
Water Filter kit (individual) – 1lb
Clothes (1 set of) + Boots – 3lb
Poncho + liner – 2lbs
Fire kit + Snare/Fishing kit = 1lb
2 Canteens + Cups & Covers – 1lb
Cook Pot – 0.5lb
Four Season sleeping bag – 6.5lbs
Expedition Pack to carry your crap – 5lbs
Total – 28.3lbs of gear.
So much for the must-haves, now we need hardware:
Cutting Tools – We need two. A small 4-inch knife for food prep and general utility. Mora Knives have been in this role forever. They are light and durable. We can go two ways with the next cutting tool which will be used as much for constructing shelters as fighting. Bowie/camp/field knives, kukris, hatchets/tomahawks all fall into this category. Weight penalty is about 2.5lbs for both tools.
Cordage – Life outdoors without cordage is amazingly tough. 550 paracord is all the rage these days, so add 2.5lbs for 100 yards.
First Aid Kit – The number and styles of IFAK offerings is unbelievable, but figure it will cost 1.5lbs in weight penalty for small one.
Multi-Tool – Some folks swear by these, but I find a pair of channel lock pliers to be of more use outdoors. Add a half-pound to the pile.
The gravity bill is now up to 35lbs.
Projectile Weapons
Firearms and archery tackle are our options. Gun vs. Bow. Bow vs. Crossbow. Any of them are better than a pointed stick unless your name is Cyrille Huc.
If you can recover your arrows, they can be used again until they break. You do know how to make your own arrows, don’t you? Expended firearm ammunition is gone unless you recover the spent cartridge case, and happen to pack long the components to reload the round.
A traditional recurve bow weighs about 3lbs. Add another pound for extra strings, wax, arm guards, shooting glove, and miscellaneous stuff for repairing arrows and the bow. The arrows and quiver add another 2lbs.
A pretty basic crossbow kit is 7lbs.
CVA makes a little break action single-shot rifle, that weighs 6 pounds + the ammo. A Box of 50 rounds of .44 Magnum ammunition is 2.8lbs. Dropping down to .357 Magnum lowers the weight of 50 rounds to 2lbs.
Why these calibers? Partially to stay with Mr. McKee’s Pistol Caliber Carbine topic. Both of these rounds are proven game stoppers, and both chamberings can easily be found in handguns and long guns. The People’s Sporting Rifles are all decent candidates for this application, but the weight penalty for feeding them goes up significantly. Weapons chambered in 22 Long Rifle are not significantly lighter than the others, but the ammo penalty is much lower if you are willing to trade stand-off distance and ballistic effectiveness.
So, what’s the problem? Calories! Bob is not packing any food yet. MRE’s weight about 1.5lbs each. Since he’s trekking on foot, and hauling all of his gear, he needs a lot of calories, so figure 2 MRE’s per day to keep going. 6 MREs adds 9lbs to the load putting him over 50lbs with no body armor, handgun, or spare anything. In fact, poor Bob is missing about 80% of the absolutely essential equipment recommended by the Every Day Commentators online.
Strap 50lbs to the average American, tell them to take a casual hike down the block, calmly dial 9-1, and wait a few minutes…
So how did the old timers do it?
Forget the Hollywood image of the Mountain Man or the Cowboy, and do some research. The early hunters and trappers of the late 1700s used pack animals. If he was well off, a horse carried the man and a second horse carried the gear. If he was not so well off, the horse carried most of the gear, and the man walked and carried the rest. A working cowboy carried as little as possible on his horse. Most of his gear, including his guns, traveled in the chuck wagon. People on the Oregon Trail used wagons, and the poorest migrants had handcarts!
So what can we learn from this? Bob needs a pack animal. The easiest pack animal to obtain and work with is a goat. A good sized goat can carry about 20-30lbs, and it will eat just about any vegetation available. Llamas are an option, but they require more pasture space than a goat. Of course our urban survivor Bob is not going to have access to pack animals, so he needs some wheels
Enter the game cart. A cart will carry 150-500lbs of gear and roll along fairly nicely on firm ground. If you live in an area with lots of snow, skis would be easy to improvise. A cart will limit Bob to certain terrain choices, and plans for fording rivers should be made before the Big Day. It will also leave a VERY obvious trail telling any interested party that someone with a lot of valuable stuff passed by.
August brings the summer pilgrimage to drop the Amazon off at college. Once the dorm room was fully stocked, the Mrs and I headed east to what we expected to be a couple of days of relaxation before turning Alice around and heading home.
The Mrs’ wish for this year was to go see the Atlantic Ocean for the first time, so we picked Nag’s Head, North Carolina as our first destination. Nag’s Head is a small tourist trap located on the “Outer Banks” (aka OBX to locals, advertisers, and anyone wanting to pretend to be local). The OBX is a series of barrier islands that run along the coast of North Carolina from the Virginia side, almost 2/3rds of the way to the South Carolina border.
The Surf Side Hotel was a nice place about 1970, but the staff do an excellent job keeping it going. The rooms were pleasant enough and you get a hot breakfast with your room and a “wine social” from 4:00-6:00pm. The wine is from a box, but at least you can get a free start on the evening. Book an oceanside room on an upper floor, the view is worth it.
We did the usual beach strolling, and kicking around in the surf. The beaches were exceptionally clean. I had been having nightmares about garbage and syringes every two steps, but none of those horrors were in evidence. The beach does not have lifeguard stations, but a safety patrol vehicle drives by about every 15-20 minutes.
Dinner was at Miller’s Waterfront . Pretty typical seafood-centric bar food. I sat down hoping for some good fish & chips. I say “good” because nothing can touch the Fish & Chips at World’s End in Edinburg, Scotland. Miller’s had nothing of the sort! All jazzed up for a cholesterol infusion of epic proportions and my hopes were crushed. They make a decent burger. Ho-hum.
The next day was spend driving the main drag from one end of the island to the other. We stopped in Gulf Stream Gifts looking for some memento to add to the family collection. Lots of nice artsy nautical themed nick-knacks and some pretty jewelry. The tourist map we picked up at the hotel showed Gulf Stream as part of a “gallery district”, but that was a lie. The rest of the shopping consisted of surf shops all hustling the same hoodies, board shorts, and t-shirts (literally, the same colors, designs, and catch phrases.) along with a wide selection of cheap switchblade knives right next to the crack pipes and other drug paraphernalia.
The day ended at the Red Drum Taphouse where I finally found my fish & chips. The Mrs tried the Shrimp & Grits, and we ended up swapping plates because her dish came out more soup than solid and the shrimp were tail-on so you had to get your fingers messy. Good flavor though.
Thus ended stop #1, and a good time was had by all.
The town of Gatlinburg, Tennessee has obviously spent buckets of cash on their marketing efforts. “Hiking Trails”. “Mountains”. It all looks great. Who would not love a quiet resort town with back to nature just oozing out of its pores?
Uh, yeah. About that.
Expedia lists a ton of hotels. If you understanding of the word “hotel” includes words like “lobby” and “room service”, you will get a whole new definition in Gatlinburg. I can’t say the Quality Inn was “rustic”, but the balcony door had a large brass hook like the one your Grandma used to secure her screen door so the dog didn’t get out holding it closed. They did have indoor plumbing, so I guess we’re even.
Then there’s the city itself. One of the main attractions we wanted to see was the Skylift Park . The online pics looked great. A ski lift ride to the top of a mountain and a glass floored bridge spanning a 160’ deep gorge leading to observation platforms. The perfect place for some quality snaps. After checking into the no-tell motel that was the Quality Inn, we set off on foot to take in the town.
Picture it. You are walking down the main street of this place that has been hypes as a quaint retreat looking for a place to have supper, browsing some shops, anticipating country craft stores, maybe catch some local musical talent, and then meeting the real Gatlinburg.
“Moonshine Tasting” was probably the most prominent theme. Carnival food was on offer every third doorway. I have never seen so much taffy, corndogs, caramel apples, and popcorn since the last time I went to the State Fair of Texas. Tucked between the ‘Shine parlors and the junk food were carnival fun houses, souvenir shops, and a few pubs. When we finally found the Skylift Park, we realized the lift took you to the top of a couple of hills overlooking Gatlingburg itself. We were done.
In 90 minutes we had taken the measure of this cross between a hillbilly slasher movie set and “Trump Supporter Town” by Disney and decided to cut our trip short by a day. The only thing we bought in Gatlinburg was dinner at Best Italian Restaurant. If you can’t avoid a stop in this armpit of a town, try their lasagna and garlic knots.
Washing dishes by hand is probably my least favorite chore, but it does give me a few brief moments to let my mind wander off the beaten path. This evening’s wandering took me back to an old Guns & Roses song “Used to Love Her”. the line “She bitched so much, it drove me nuts, and I can still hear her complain.” made me think about the social utility of whining and complaining.
“Bitching”, “whining”, or “complaining”. It really does not matter what you call it, the action is an expression designed to elicit a response from another person.
The desired response could be to get attention. Sometimes when a person is feeling neglected emotionally, they will do things to get the needed attention. It really doesn’t matter whether the attention is positive or negative, as long as they get their fix. This behavior is most commonly seen in small children when they become “bratty” and petulant.
Another potential response is to coerce another person into solving the complainer’s perceived problem. This version says “I’m too powerless and/or lazy to solve my own problems, so I want YOU to deal with it for me.”
That got me to thinking about apocalyptic scenarios. The actual circumstances are irrelevant. We will just assume everyone is having a really bad day and it looks like life in general will continue to suck on a grandiose scale for the foreseeable future.
In every, and I mean EVERY, disaster film ever made, everyone in the audience cannot wait for the whiny hysteric character to snuff it, preferably in the most horrible manner possible, just so the rest of the survivors will have a bit of quiet to think.
Consider this in the context of your own survival potential.
A survivor thinks their way through the situation, and then they take specific actions to ensure they stay above room temperature by maximizing the resources and opportunities they have available. If there is a group of survivors, they band together to try to ensure everyone survives. A person who complains and whines does not contribute, and they are a constant drag on morale. In short order they become a disruptive force within a group, and it will not take long for the rest of the group to decide silencing the whiner is worth the calories needed to bash in their skull to shut them up.
Before the storm is the time to think carefully about preparations, and some of the most important preps are your mind and attitude. Go wash some dishes, or garden for an hour or two. Just something to occupy your hands so your mind can wander freely.
Think about your current behavior when you are under stress. How do you relate to those closest to you? How do you choose to express negative emotions like anger, frustration, fear, and hopelessness?
Replay conversations where you were feeling these emotions in your mind. How were you expressing yourself? Were you using phrases like “I feel”, “I think”, “I need”, or were you using phrases like “You always”, “You never”, “Why did you…?”, “I hate…”, “You need to…”, then you have some work to do on how you communicate.
Everybody needs things, but nobody can cover all of their needs alone. This is why humans are social creatures. The key to being a social creature is having skills that are useful under whatever circumstances you find yourself in.
(A medic at a car accident is a popular person. A marketing genius is a waste of oxygen.)
Everybody also needs to be able to express their needs in a way that explains how that need will be met, and to express how other people can contribute to that solution because everyone else involved probably has similar needs that will have to be met through efforts on the part of the entire group. Learn these critical communication skills and practice them in your daily life because some dark day your life may depend on them. The disaster you are living through will be hard enough on everyone involved. DO NOT be the one person making things worse for everyone else by being the whiner.
While I’m a firm believer that there is a place for all of God’s creatures right next to the taters and gravy, Alpaca was not real high on the list of local fare. Then I took a little road trip to North Carolina where we were recommended to a little eatery called Alpaca Peruvian Charcoal Chicken.
Even with the Covid restrictions, the place was busy with dine-in and take out customers. We had the Arroz Chaufa described as “Peruvian style stir-fried rice with chicken, sausage, egg, and scallions.” I’m not a stranger to authentic Mexican and Central American fare, but this was the first time I had tried anything claiming South American roots aside from a few Brazillian Churrascaria (Steakhouses) in the DFW area.
The food had a nice flavor. The portion was adequate to the price. The Mrs. tried their Chi Cha Morada drink described as “House made with purple corn, pineabble,cinnamon, and clove.” I tasted it and it was a lot like mulled spiced wine without the alcohol. Ours was served cold, but it would be great hot as well.
Alpaca is worth a visit if you are in the Raleigh-Durham area.